I am excited to be part of #bloginstead hosted by writer Melinda Johnson, and am truly grateful that she has inspired a group of us to focus on deeper writing and responses through blogging for a few days rather than the quick reactions we are prone to on social media.
I have been reading a book that was on my Amazon wish list for two years. I am not sure why it took me so long to purchase it, as it was only a few dollars, but perhaps it wasn’t the right time. The book is called “The Six-Cornered Snowflake,” and it is a long essay/letter/reflection by the astronomer Johannes Kepler written in the 1500s. The topic is the harmony and unity of nature and the overarching Divine wholeness of things. It is very thought-provoking and dear at the same time. He spends several pages talking about pomegranates and the spacing and number of seeds as well as the symmetry. I can honestly say that I absolutely geek out over this type of writing. It is the perfect blend of science, theology, and philosophy that just thrills me to my core.
But I ask myself (in the beginning of this new decade) if there is a unifying theme or wholeness to my life and heart? Sometimes it seems that I am so fragmented and although I can see strains that have remained consistent through the years, I am still sometimes asking where I “fit.” Is that even a question I should be asking? I don’t know. But even if it is the wrong question, perhaps it will eventually lead to the right one.
I am working through some things right now in processing past trauma and specifically how it has altered my view of God. It is hard to even write that because I have been a person of faith (Christian,specifically) for more than 30 years. But it has become clear to me over the past few years that so much of me was distorted by fear as a result of trauma that it almost feels like I am starting over in some ways. I have no intention of giving up the faith, but I am aware that continued healing is needed.
So I am asking God to continue to show me what wholeness looks like as I work through these things. I know that to fully become integrated I need to open myself up in new ways, and continue to let go of unhealthy patterns and thoughts. It is a process to be certain.
And on a lighter note, don’t you just love pomegranates? They are definitely on my list of happy things.