whole and part

I am excited to be part of #bloginstead hosted by writer Melinda Johnson, and am truly grateful that she has inspired a group of us to focus on deeper writing and responses through blogging for a few days rather than the quick reactions we are prone to on social media.

I have been reading a book that was on my Amazon wish list for two years. I am not sure why it took me so long to purchase it, as it was only a few dollars, but perhaps it wasn’t the right time. The book is called “The Six-Cornered Snowflake,” and it is an essay/letter/reflection by the astronomer Johannes Kepler written in the 1500s. The topic is the harmony and unity of nature and the overarching Divine wholeness of things. It is very thought-provoking and dear at the same time. He spends several pages talking about pomegranates and the spacing and number of seeds as well as the symmetry. I can honestly say that I absolutely geek out over this type of writing. It is the perfect blend of science, theology, and philosophy that just thrills me to my core.

But I ask myself (in the beginning of this new decade) if there is a unifying theme or wholeness to my life and heart? Sometimes it seems that I am so fragmented and although I can see strains that have remained consistent through the years, I am still sometimes asking where I “fit.” Is that even a question I should be asking? I don’t know. But even if it is the wrong question, perhaps it will eventually lead to the right one.

I am working through some things right now in processing past trauma and specifically how it has altered my view of God. It is hard to even write that because I have been a person of faith (Christian,specifically) for more than 30 years. But it has become clear to me over the past few years that so much of me was distorted by fear as a result of trauma that it almost feels like I am starting over in some ways. I have no intention of giving up the faith, but I am aware that continued healing is needed.

So I am asking God to continue to show me what wholeness looks like as I work through these things. I know that to fully become integrated I need to open myself up in new ways, and continue to let go of unhealthy patterns and thoughts. It is a process to be certain.

And on a lighter note, don’t you just love pomegranates? They are definitely on my list of happy things.

Peace,

Emmie

18 thoughts on “whole and part”

  1. I love your description of the pomegranate and your delight in it.

    I remember hearing several years ago that much of what we are doing in this world is scraping unwanted paint off the icon God made us to be so we can get back to the original beauty in His image. What you describe here about your journey reminded me of that.

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    1. Although I can see the image more clearly now, there are still several layers of paint:) But I can be patient with the process and I am grateful for God’s patience with me too. Thank you for this lovely, lovely thought.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! That is a sweet thought too, that if God cares enough to perfectly space pomegranate seeds, certainly he cares about me. I love all of the lessons nature teaches us, don’t you?

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  2. I look forward to reading more of your blog over the next couple days. I love books but find it hard to prioritize any kind of reading into my days. Even joining a book club has been hard!
    I know what you mean about feeling fragmented! 🙂 *hug*

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Susan. I am grateful for this opportunity at deeper connections. I almost didn’t join in because I was a bit nervous, and I am glad I did. I look forward to reading your blog as well. You really are a source of light, I hope you know that.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Trauma and fear altering our perceptions of God is so real… It can be so hard if not impossible to pray when we cannot get past our own minds to get to God, and without prayer, a relationship is impossible. May your healing be blessed, and I’m right there with you, as I’m sure you know. ❤

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  4. That book sounds fascinating!

    Our true selves are hidden with Christ in God. Hidden! We can’t see what our true selves look like, but they will be revealed in unity and wholeness in the end. God bless you in your internal “work” to participate with Him in His wonderful plans. XO

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  5. Dear Emmie, I’m definitely trying to break some unhealthy habits. It’s work! P.S. I wish I’d added pomegranates to my list of things that make me smile or happy…so glad to know I really have WAY more than 20 thing!

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    1. I love your list. I tried to comment on your post but I am not sure if it went through or not:) I really enjoyed reading that.

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  6. Emmie, what a beautiful post! We are all wounded and broken in some way but it is in our brokenness that we are able to minister to others because people are led to us as they sense that we will understand and not be judgmental. This is so evident in this post and from the comments. May God continue to bless you as you minister through your writing.

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