the lie about the lines or realizing i do belong

I almost wrote a post last week about my lifelong struggle to feel like I fit in, to seem normal. Something on the inside stopped me, and I am learning to listen to that inner voice.

I will give a bit of context by saying that I live in an area where I am an anomaly in many ways: part of a faith tradition that most have never heard of, politically on the wrong side of things(I do a lot of tongue biting), super Introverted and a bit socially awkward.Even in my faith tradition I sense that I am a bit of an outlier, not having been born into the Church but also not quite Orthodox enough. If I am honest I generally just feel like a big weirdo. Not very literary, but there it is. I was telling myself the story this week that I would never fit in, and I may as well do the best I could, but not to expect too much.

And then. I went to an event for my child yesterday and ran into several folks that I know, including probably my closest female friend. She shared with me some struggles in her family and asked me to light our vigil lamp for them this weekend. I was so honored to be able to do this small thing for this dear person who has often helped me feel less alone.

And then. I got news late last night of another friend whose house burned down yesterday. Just like that. She lives a few streets over from me and has been really supportive of the start of my small business and her children and my daughter play together often. Thanks be to God that no one was hurt, but the home that they loved so much and all of their possessions are gone.

I didn’t think about whether or not I belonged when I reached out to get involved. Something in me just broke free. I know I have written about boundaries a good deal (and I still believe strongly that healthy boundaries are critical) but there are times to let the lines fall away and just focus on our common humanity. I know that if the roles were reversed, either of these friends would be there to help.

Am I still weird? You bet. But I can offer that oddness to God and the world to be used in whatever small way it can be.

Love and peace,

Emmie

7 thoughts on “the lie about the lines or realizing i do belong”

  1. Emmie, what a beautifully honest reflection! I think the way you feel is not all that uncommon but God has called us to be different. If we follow Jesus, we don’t fit into our culture because we know who we are in God’s sight – we are the beloved, not because of anything that we have done but because of God’s love for all – and that gives us a different perspective. I praise God for the person you are!!
    Please know that your friends are in my prayers. Blessings to you and your family!!

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  2. Emmie, I agree that this was so beautifully written! I want to reach out to you as an extroverted ADHD weirdo, who was raised Greek Orthodox. 😄 As you are learning “to let the lines fall away and focus on common humanity”, I’m desperately working to redirect my hyperfocusing on common humanity and apply it to learning how to create solid lines for boundaries that have always eluded me.
    As I’m catching up with a week’s worth of blogs, I can’t get over how many people are seemingly so opposite of me on the outside, yet so similar on the inside. #blogtown has been such an incredible experience for me knowing, as you astutely pointed out, “I can offer that oddness to God and the world to be used in whatever small way it can be”. Thank you so much, Emmie, for being your wonderful self from whom I can learn! 😊💕

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    1. Gia, I love your comment and thank you for taking the time to leave it. I too, have struggled with setting healthy boundaries (a lot of my posts are about that:) and at the same time knowing when to just let the lines drop. It takes discernment I think. And as the mother of THREE neurodiverse kids (2 are adults now) I completely love your embracing your ADHD. I love extroverts, my husband is one and it helps to balance my tendency to isolation. God bless you and I look forward to reading more of your blog.

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      1. Thank you for your understanding, Ellie! I agree it takes discernment. This is why I’ve made it the focal point in my life right now. Being as purposeful as I can so as to better listen to His guidance. May God bless you as well, I thank Him for this huge blessing of an opportunity to be a part of this group!

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  3. I love this post. I am an introvert who has struggled a lot with not being orthodox enough. You have a great way with words, because this is so hard to describe to others. I think that one of my biggest struggles is to recognize what I can do for others while maintaining myself. Keep up the good struggle.

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